Well well I didnt know that my modest blog will get this super hot response from readers... thanks to you people out there from the bottom of my heart. When I started this blog, I was not thinking of the risks and unaware of the fate that was to befall me. I take it as a lesson, and my friends told me not to bother with all those hurting words..well, to me, they can say anything, but to touch on my personal things such as my kids, thats different. So if someone wants to get even then get even with something in common not to touch on my personal live. Lets leave the kids alone, you dont have to tell the whole world that I am the mother of 4 and I should remember where my place as a mother. Thank you for your concern dear... If not for me, my kids will not be alive by now. I know my place and my responsibility and you know something? my kids love me very very much. For your info, my eldest is already reaching 16 years old.. and to see your comments in my blog, shes not ashamed of me, but she is very disappointed in you.. yes, as a repentant, you should know how to approach someone who you feel needs the guidance. But to misbehave in my blog, thats something unacceptable. I always be open to my kids, and they to me, so we treat each other with respect. But whatever it is, I hope you dont feel bitter, I wish you get the same love as I am getting, for you to mention about me of taking guys money, thats a joke.. I wonder who is that lucky guy!! If only you knew how many guys who wish to out with me, you will be surprised..yes..Im not that easy as you think my friend. And I am not cheap as you mentioned in your comment. Oh yeah, its because I have found the love of my life.. we are happy.. And insyaallah, you will find someone who will love you too..and thus will end your bitterness. Like me, I have both, the love from my kids and the love from my man ...so stop feeling pitiful and move on..I know there is someone for everyone of us..only it takes time to find the right person..

Aku termenung kat depan pc ni, firstly pasal aku nye cermin mata dah hilang last Friday, dah potek dah. HIlang kat dlm cab ke atau kat club pun aku tak tau..tapi rasa rasa aku dah bawak balik, masok kan kat dalam beg comel aku..
Tempat yg aku pergi nama dia The Pumproom, kat Clarke Quay, aku, Sal, Zah and Roy. Tapi last minute Roy buat hal lah, konon dia dah tak gi clubbing lagi lah..padahal, kita dah ckp siang siang nak jumpa pasal dah lama kita tak jumpa mungking dah 2 or 3 tahun lalu last kita jumpa. Then semua buat hal masing masing. Now, lagi Sal dah nak kawin, aku insyaallah..Zah, hmm dengar ada yg baru ..hensem pulak tu. Well, mudah mudahan lah semua kan. Roy, bila lagi pulak kau dengan Fendi? Boring lah Roy tak de hari tu, byk yg kita nak ckp ..maybe nak bincang pasal wedding Sal. Aku nak jadi bridesmaid dia..yahooo..
Actually, kita dah cadang nak kluar malam tu only gals ajer, then tetiba si DAvid pulak msg, tanya me ape plan malam tu, so aku pun ckp lah..yg aku nak gi Pumproom. Dia pun ape lagi..ingat aku ada hot date. Alah, David, David mana ada, semua gals, so aku pun ingat ajak dia lah...mesti dia tak nak bila dia dgr kita nak gi semua gals kan...tetapi sebalik nye. Dia nak ikut babe. Dia kata sure. Hai, aku dah boring, aku actually ajak ajak ayam aje..then dia dah nak ikut, ape aku nak buat eh, aku tak reaply dia..aku tunggu, aku pikir .. bow to reply dia eh..nak turn down dia slow slow lah konon. But member tak de idea lah babe. So aku pun call Sal ckp dgn dia David nak ikut, nak melekat aje si dektu. Then Sal ckp dia tak kisah, Zah pun ajak Martin, so aku rasa ok lah...kalau ada dua jantan dorang bole lah berborak kan.
Aku kluar mlm tu terlambat, so kesian Sal, sorry ok darling becos of me you susah nak cari parking kereta. Then David pulak mengadu dia frust pasal tak de kedai makan , banyak kedai dah tutup...nasib kau lah David..hehe. Well aku ckp lah dng dia..pat club yg kita nak gi tu still serve finger food, dia pun iye kan aje lah..so we going to meet up there. Dia yg tak tau jalan ke situ, dah sampai pun, kita yg terkial kial cari place tu. But at last terjumpa lah ...aduh org punya lah ramai...but respect, band power babe. Jive Talking mmg best..aku suka tgk that guy tu lah yg guitarist and he can sing too..bila aku tgk dia betol betol..ada mirip mirip si Rod Monteiro, hmm..kira ok lah tu kan..dance floor sempit lah..kita terselit kat bar counter atas stage. Punya lah panas aku rasa..pasal sempit then bukan tu aje, orang ramai..but the crowd i dont like lah..ramai Ah Beng lah..then dorang bukan joget, melonjak lonjak aje..mcm joget lion dance. So aku excuse lah nak gi washroom, nak refresh kan muka lah konon. then kat situ ada satu budak cina pompan ni tau, dia mcm perasan jambu gitu..hehe Dia bole tanya aku, lawa tak makeup dia..aku kan mana tau ckp bohong, aku ckp lah make dia cantek, suka kau dia..dia kata dia mmg belajar make up,,so kalau aku nak make up dia bole tolong service kan muka aku..hai mcm lah akjuperlukan..aku dah natural beauty..betol tak gals...hehe
Tempat tu mcm boring pun ada...aku tak tau ape aku nak ckp nak buat ape dgn si David tu, dia sebelah aku..dia diam aje, dia yg bayar kan our drinks..so how eh nak buat ape..
Sal bising dgn aku, dia suruh lah aku joget dng David ..Sal kata aku boring..aku bukan boring, aku respect kawan, Sal kan sorang, fiance dia luar negeri..so aku konon nak teman kan dia. Last week, aku kluar dgn David ok ok pulak..mungkin only 2 of us kan. So kita tau lah ape yg harus kita laku kan. He was so sweet masa tu, kita gi dinner than terus ke One Night Stand. That was fun, aku betol nye enjoy masa tu. Kita tak menari kat dance floor, only kat barcounter aje.
Hmm..well..masa yg kat Pumproom tu, aku syiok sendiri lah..aku menari dgn si David then dengan Sal..bila lagu best, mcm RnB ok ketengah sikit..but bila techno..ok ok..masok dock balik hehe.
Bila jam sudah menunjuk kan pukul 3.30 pagi, baru lah kita beredar, si Zah masa tu dah tak dgn kita lagi, mambang dia tak suka tempat tu, so they went to Satu Malam Berdiri..but dia kata dia pun pulang sama time cam kita jugak. Ah masa tu lah aku nye specs hilang kan..aku suspect bila Sal turun kan aku kat 6th Ave to catch a cab, aku nye specs dah terjatuh..antara kat lupa or dalam cab. Tak per lah..specs tu pun dah bole masok musium, dah 3 years or more pun umur dia. So now aku dah tempah yang baru, cantek lagi colourful hehe. But only siap on Wednesday, so buat sementara ni, aku terpaksa lah jadi cam Kasim Selamat kan..so sorry eh kawan kawan kalau aku type tersalah salah..almaklum lah...mata ni dah lama tak service .. :)
sekian wasalam...

I'm really sorry for not posting any new blogs...well i was a bit under the weather. I was not in the mood at all. I was feeling sad, uneasy, like why , what happened now? My life was going fine then suddenly it took turn. I know its not a bad turn but it still made me think about my future. The guy who didn't call me for such a long time, now he returned with his undying love!! hahaha after so much hurts and loneliness and after I have found my solace, friends who always be ready for me, when I'm lonely. Yeah guys its you out there, I really appreciate your friendship and whatever ships your offering me ;)
Now he came back with more to offer...my future!! the only thing that I'm waiting for.

Yeah just like R told me, "dear you have to think about your future, you have kids and you are not getting younger!" thanks R, I really appreciate your kind concern. I'm taking your advice..
even though you know whats in my heart... but I'm happy, and relieved because at last I told you about my hidden feelings..and its not only me, you feel the same way about me too. But due to some circumstances, we just couldn't be together..and realized it.

You are the reason for everything, especially for me to love again. But now, I have to step aside, and let you move on. I have to move on ...and move on I will... that was why I asked you , "will you miss me when I'm no longer around here" I'm glad and at the same time, crushed when you said, You will...
I cried, and cried for you, for us, for the love that will never be there..for the things that we will never achieved, for the words that will never be said...
Phewwww...well anyway..its over..but one thing for sure, you always have a special place in my heart!!